Why Married Men Are Struggling With Infidelity And Pornography Addiction

Why Married Men Are Struggling With Infidelity And Pornography Addiction

Despite a general aversion to pornography in Nigeria, many married men find themselves trapped in a cycle of addiction that not only fuels obsessive sexual fantasies but also leads to extramarital affairs and significant personal issues. Victor Ayeni explores the experiences of those struggling with these challenges…..CONTINUE READING 

In 2019, Nicholas Onyeabor faced restless nights filled with intrusive thoughts, battling insomnia while trying to overcome his addiction to pornography. As a 41-year-old father of three, Onyeabor’s struggle began in 2008 during his final year at university. Raised in a strict Christian environment, he had hoped marriage would cure his cravings. However, he soon discovered he was mistaken.

“It started one February night when I was 25,” Onyeabor recounted. “I visited a cyber café to work on my project and stumbled upon a pornographic site. Initially afraid, I closed it, but soon returned and began exploring similar sites. My addiction deepened with the advent of mobile phones, which gave me easy access to explicit content.”

By the time he married in 2014, Onyeabor’s addiction was entrenched. His phone and laptop were filled with adult material, and he indulged in this habit daily, hiding it from his wife. “We were a church-going couple, and everything seemed perfect on the surface,” he said, reflecting on his shame.

The addiction significantly affected his marriage, diminishing his physical attraction to his wife and making sex a mundane routine. The problem escalated when he began experiencing erectile dysfunction. “It was only through porn that I could maintain an erection,” he explained. “Realizing I had a problem, I attempted to quit cold turkey. It took over a year and included many sleepless nights and relapses before I succeeded.”

Research supports Onyeabor’s experience. According to a study presented at the European Association of Urology Virtual Congress in July 2020, excessive pornography consumption is linked to higher rates of erectile dysfunction.

Another married man, Kolapo Adigun, shared a similar story. Introduced to pornography via a friend’s DVD collection in 2011, Adigun’s interest escalated, and despite his marriage in 2012, he continued to indulge in explicit content. This behavior eventually led him to engage in extramarital affairs. “I would use office internet for viewing and sometimes seek out hook-up girls to spice things up,” Adigun said. “My wife caught me in the act once, which damaged our trust and created ongoing marital problems.”

A third individual, who preferred to remain anonymous, attributed his relapse into pornography to a sex-starved marriage. “Initially, I enjoyed sex with my wife, but over time, she lost interest. Frustrated by her reluctance and with no children yet, I returned to pornography and masturbation to cope,” he revealed. Despite his efforts to break free, he remains caught in the cycle of addiction, which his wife remains unaware of.

These accounts illustrate the profound impact pornography addiction can have on marital relationships, often leading to further complications such as extramarital affairs and emotional distress.

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