I Like Them Thick!’ — Man’s Viral Post Exposes Matchmaking Meltdown

An X user recently recounted a hilarious yet cringe-worthy matchmaking experience that took an unexpected turn.

When she hit 30, her uncle’s wife — affectionately known as Big Mummy — made it her personal mission to find her a husband. Every Christmas, Big Mummy would circulate the family gatherings with her usual question to single ladies: “How far?”

Two years ago, Big Mummy came bearing “good news” — a colleague’s son had just returned from his Master’s program abroad. Instead of giving the man her niece’s contact, she passed his number to her, encouraging her to reach out.

Initially uninterested, the lady later decided to text him after a dry holiday season with no romantic prospects in sight. The two began chatting, and she eventually agreed to travel to Calabar to meet him.

That’s when the situation spiraled.

She arrived early at Crunches, buzzing with anticipation. But the moment he walked in, she was stunned — he was extremely short. Her reaction? “This man doesn’t need to bend to pick anything off the floor.”

Then came the real kicker.

He looked her over and bluntly said, “Not what I was expecting. I like my women thick… you know, with heavy duty.”

As if that wasn’t offensive enough, he launched into a rundown of his accomplishments, then proceeded to inform her that while she wasn’t his “spec,” he was still willing to consider her — but only if she agreed to live by his rules.

Shocked and unimpressed, she said nothing, quietly blocked him on the spot, and walked away without looking back.