My Whole Body Was Shutting Down’” — Juliana Olayode Reveals Dark Battle With Depression

Nollywood actress Juliana Olayode has opened up about her long and painful struggle with depression, revealing that she lived with suicidal thoughts for nearly three years while continuing to appear strong on the outside.

In a post shared on her Instagram page, the actress said she went through the period quietly, showing up daily as though nothing was wrong, even as she battled intense emotional pain internally.

Olayode said the experience took a heavy toll on her body and mind, noting that her entire system began to shut down. However, she said the ordeal taught her a powerful lesson about the healing power of joy.

“I was depressed and suicidal for almost three years. I showed up every day like I wasn’t struggling or dying inside,” she wrote. “Depression made me realise how much of a medicine joy truly is. My whole body was shutting down. I was diagnosed with an illness and gained a lot of weight, though it was nothing compared to the burden I was carrying within.”

She explained that people who have never experienced depression or suicidal thoughts often misunderstand the depth of the struggle.

“If you’ve never been depressed, you might downplay what people go through. If you’ve never been suicidal, you may think those who take their lives are selfish, when to them, it feels like the only escape,” she said.

While acknowledging the importance of therapy—which she said she also pursued—Olayode emphasized her faith, saying true healing came when she turned to God.

“Therapy is great, and I went to therapy, but sometimes you need to return to your Maker for the perfect fix—and it’s free. You just have to be vulnerable and say, ‘Fix me, Lord,’” she wrote.

The actress expressed gratitude for what she described as complete healing and restoration, explaining that she chose to share her story after receiving numerous messages from people battling depression and suicidal thoughts.

“It is not the end,” she wrote. “Don’t listen to that dark voice in your head. The sun will rise again. Give all your depressive and suicidal thoughts to God. Tell Him everything—He will help you.”

In a final message of encouragement, Olayode urged those struggling not to give up.

“This is a vulnerable post, but I feel you. Don’t do it. What you’re facing is part of the human experience. If it’s happening to you, it’s because it cannot consume you. You may feel weak, but within you is more strength than you know—the strength to break free and come out whole.”