Stop Judging Me!” – Eriata Ese Explains Why She Chose Motherhood Over Marriage

Nollywood actress and former Big Brother Naija housemate, Eriata Ese, has hit back at critics who condemn women for giving birth outside marriage.

Taking to her Snapchat story, the reality TV star questioned why people are quick to judge others without understanding their personal struggles or reasons for making certain life choices.

Eriata explained that while marriage is a beautiful thing, not everyone reaches that stage at the same pace. She noted that many individuals are still dealing with emotional trauma, trust issues, or waiting for the right moment and partner before settling down.

She also highlighted the contradictions in societal expectations — pointing out how women are pressured to have children once they turn 30, yet are ridiculed when they do so without being married.

“In as much as marriage is a good thing, some people never stop to wonder why a person chose a certain path,” she wrote. “You don’t know my past. You don’t know if I’m battling trust or anger issues I’m trying to heal from. You don’t know if I’m taking time to study who I want to end up with or waiting for the right moment to say yes to marriage. You don’t know if I’m mentally ready.”

Eriata added that when women eventually find love, critics still mock them — questioning why their partners chose them over younger women. She lamented that, unfortunately, most of these negative comments come from other women.

“You’ll hear people say, ‘Once you’re 30+ with no husband, just have kids.’ When you do, they ask, ‘Where’s the father? Oh, no husband? Single mother.’

When you choose to wait and reach 40+, they say, ‘Look at you — so beautiful yet without a child.’

Then when God finally blesses you with love, they say, ‘Didn’t he see younger girls? What’s he doing with a single mother?’”

Eriata concluded by expressing frustration over society’s double standards, emphasizing that no one has the right to dictate how others should live their lives.