“Don’t Be Your Man’s Savior! – Pastor Bolaji Idowu Warns Women Against Fixing Men’s Problems Nigerians React

Pastor Bolaji Idowu of Harvesters International Christian Centre has advised women to stop assuming the role of “builders” in their relationships.

Speaking during a recent service in Lagos, he noted that many women go beyond offering emotional support by attempting to solve their partner’s personal and financial problems—an effort that often ends in disappointment.

According to him, women are called to support their men, not to carry the full weight of their struggles or act as rescuers. He warned that when women take on the responsibility of “fixing” everything, they gradually shift from being supportive partners to becoming controlling, constantly correcting and managing their men.

Pastor Idowu stressed that such dynamics usually have negative outcomes, as the romantic connection in the relationship diminishes, leaving the woman in more of a parental role than that of a partner.

“You are not called to build your man; you are called to support him,” he said. “Some of you have turned into Bob the Builder—when his car breaks down, you rush to fix it; when he can’t pay rent, you step in to cover it. That’s not your calling. You are meant to support, not to build.

“Once you become Bob the Builder, you also become Mother Theresa—always correcting, managing, and trying to fix him. You pick up a struggling man, build him up, and when he finally finds his feet, he turns around and says, ‘I don’t see us that way.’ That’s because while you were busy fixing him, you neglected the romantic side of the relationship.”