How to Listen to Yourself: 4 Simple Steps

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It’s imperative to get a degree, find your love before 30, and wear only black, which slims you down. These “good” advice, sounding in our heads by the voices of parents and friends, teachers and stars, did not help us to develop, or improve, or, most importantly, to become happier. Why? Because in the midst of all this noise, we don’t hear our own voices. It would surely tell you what you really want, what would truly make you happy.

Step 1. Silence

It’s hard to hear yourself in the endless hum of the voices of your closest and not-so-close people. All the instructions and recommendations, all the valuable instructions and rules that we have ever been told and indoctrinated are literally a wall between how you “should” and how you “want” to live. Only the thing is, someone “wants” it, but not you. It’s difficult to turn off the obsessive whispers of your parents or other people important to you, and we live to please others, forgetting about ourselves. The result of such a total and prolonged neglect of yourself can be a whole range of disorders, from psychosomatic manifestations to deep depression. Intermediate states are familiar to many people: the inability to make decisions, to say “no”, to enjoy the best soccer betting opportunities, to make choices, to enjoy today, and to enjoy in general.

So, in order not to bring myself to the clinical manifestations, you need to urgently hear what you want. And to do that, you have to be silent. That’s why meditation practices are so popular, because they help to slow down the running of thoughts that buzz in our head without interruption, and in this silence and emptiness, try to feel yourself.

There’s no need to rush into meditation-after all, it’s not for everyone. But taking daily five-minute pauses (phone off, eyes closed, body relaxed) as a rule is a step toward the goal. Moments of silence will not only help you hear yourself but also relax and reset your body as a whole.

Step 2. Create What You Want

How often have we heard from our parents something like “What do you want?”, “I want too much!”, “There is no word ‘I want’, there is a word ‘should'”. These sacramental phrases taught us not to listen to ourselves and our desires, because these desires will never come true anyway. Fortunately, this is not the case now. If as children we could not control the situation, as adults we have the ability to pamper ourselves, even if it seems selfish, foolish, and unnecessary spending to you.

Very often people who try to listen to their inner voice begin to feel guilty when they buy themselves something expensive and nice, give themselves time and indulge their desires. Oddly enough, it means that you are on the right track – you do what you want. It remains to cope with guilt, a feeling born of childhood, when you have your own desires and needs, you were shamed and uttered those phrases about “want too much. How do you remove the guilt? Realize that there is no one you are hurting by fulfilling your desires.

Wish fulfillment also applies to the manifestation of your emotions. Don’t hold negativity inside, laugh and cry when you want to, talk about your feelings, acknowledge them and accept them.

Step 3. Get It Right

We never tire of repeating: our being is reflected and often determined by our speech. So if you want change to start happening to you now, work on your vocabulary. For people who are used to silencing their inner voice and not hearing their needs, speech is peppered with the following expressions:

• I don’t know.
• I don’t care.
• I can’t choose.
• It’s your choice.

To get rid of these phrases, use the “Question Yourself” technique – every time you don’t know what you want, ask yourself aloud about it. What show do you want to watch? Where do you want to eat dinner? What track do you want to start working out to? And if at that moment someone else’s voice starts to sound in your head, cut it off and ask the question again, until you hear your inner voice.

Step 4. The Sixth Sense

Even those who don’t believe in esoteric and other mystical knowledge have more than once encountered a feeling, a sensation, an anticipation – the sixth sense that psychologists call our inner voice. There is no magic in learning to listen and hear yourself – and thus to anticipate events and understand how to act better and more expediently. People who are sensitive to themselves and their needs usually know themselves well and almost never get into awkward, uncomfortable, difficult situations, are able and not shy to refuse without fear of offending – in a word, they live by their own rules.

In silence and relaxation, everyone can hear – at first quite quietly, and then more insistently and louder – the voice of his or her own self, the only one worth listening to.